The smoky eyes are missing from my pic. And the whiteness is also striking. As for the position and the look in the eyes, I would say is great!
More VanGo'd versions of this piece:
The VanGo'd Gallery is moderated by our curators who choose the best of you twinned images to publish. Don't despair if your work is not chosen, remember Rembrandt painted over 80 self-portraits, so maybe have another go?